what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
