How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
