The maid of honor just puked.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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