you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
