That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
No subtext here. People are naked.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
