i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
