She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Randomize
