genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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