he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
