so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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