she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
