i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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