Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
