Pappa wants mamma naked
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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