we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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