I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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