Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
