Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
