They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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