You really coming over, don't trick.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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