If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
