The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
