They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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