do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
