even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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