Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
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You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
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You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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