sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The air was thick with penises
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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