I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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