She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
