Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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