It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
