in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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