is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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