Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
