Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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