It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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