I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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