she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
