i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
