Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize