drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
where am i from again
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You made out with two different species that night
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
