just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
