bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
