I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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