i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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