I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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