i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
