I heard we made out
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I am available for nakedness
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
