Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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