And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize