Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
