You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
