"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
