Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
