Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
