Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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