what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
