We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
