is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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