i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
