I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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