Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think a kid would responsible me up
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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