Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
