Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
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Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
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I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.