Texts From Last Night

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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.

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  (719): I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment. http://tfl.nu/wmih
  Replies (15) Good night (2900) Bad night (568) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest

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  (519): He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest http://tfl.nu/yyal
  Replies (47) Good night (1381) Bad night (5610) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop

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  (330): If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop http://tfl.nu/zan9
  Replies (18) Good night (531) Bad night (2496) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday

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  (850): Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday http://tfl.nu/xmv6
  Replies (36) Good night (5846) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.

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  (607): since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket. http://tfl.nu/tn78
  Replies (48) Good night (4701) Bad night (943)
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  (818): View more from California

  I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.

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  (818): I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal. http://tfl.nu/asxv
  Replies (23) Good night (4025) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.

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  (360): Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time. http://tfl.nu/zvvg
  Replies (7) Good night (3183) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.

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  (469): I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over. http://tfl.nu/vab8
  Replies (13) Good night (822) Bad night (3839) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.

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  (619): His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar. http://tfl.nu/lyc1
  Replies (8) Good night (2253) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.

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  (414): No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student. http://tfl.nu/q9kq
  Replies (9) Good night (2152) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness

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  (815): Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness http://tfl.nu/w2dw
  Replies (2) Good night (1158) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.

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  (720): I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation. http://tfl.nu/ssju
  Replies (5) Good night (906) Bad night (257) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.

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  (718): So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/to2r
  Replies (3) Good night (1057) Bad night (192)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??

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  (505): Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again?? http://tfl.nu/9q8l
  Replies (2) Good night (991) Bad night (171) Order T-Shirt
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  (+45): View more from Denmark

  Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?

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  (+45): Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction? http://tfl.nu/7i71
  Replies (18) Good night (688) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt

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