Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.

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  (916): People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks. http://tfl.nu/z8b4
  Replies (3) Good night (950) Bad night (496)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?

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  (504): dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty? http://tfl.nu/lq5o
  Replies (42) Good night (1259) Bad night (2587)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....

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  (724): So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner.... http://tfl.nu/8twx
  Replies (16) Good night (784) Bad night (3652)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit

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  (416): Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit http://tfl.nu/uw56
  Replies (17) Good night (1097) Bad night (3720)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  it's great music for shaving your balls

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  (850): it's great music for shaving your balls http://tfl.nu/etrw
  Replies (25) Good night (3908) Bad night (1799)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.

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  (907): She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone. http://tfl.nu/lil1
  Replies (7) Good night (3720) Bad night (858)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship

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  (713): Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship http://tfl.nu/tzas
  Replies (14) Good night (2553) Bad night (1098)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  My lips are sealed. Both pairs.

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  (708): My lips are sealed. Both pairs. http://tfl.nu/26rg
  Replies (11) Good night (3272) Bad night (1050)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?

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  (410): i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka. (443): do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob? http://tfl.nu/qeeu
  Replies (18) Good night (4916) Bad night (1130)
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  (212): View more from New York

  You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines

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  (212): You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines http://tfl.nu/eq9r
  Replies (14) Good night (1603) Bad night (709)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.

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  (469): Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved. http://tfl.nu/jqlw
  Replies (14) Good night (891) Bad night (2825)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.

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  (208): If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that. http://tfl.nu/eu5z
  Replies (5) Good night (1902) Bad night (465)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.

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  (+61): I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad. http://tfl.nu/47hi
  Replies (3) Good night (1048) Bad night (273)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.

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  (780): It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller. http://tfl.nu/7k3f
  Replies (6) Good night (912) Bad night (358)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.

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  (208): He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants. http://tfl.nu/pajk
  Replies (1) Good night (353) Bad night (483)

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