That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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