And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
