you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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