She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
