oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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